So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
