Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
