please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
