i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize