He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
