Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
