addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
