My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
