are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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