I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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