Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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