Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
