So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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