i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
