Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
