what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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