ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
