What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
two words...techno handjob
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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