Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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