I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
