I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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