Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
