David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
