the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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