So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
