last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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