Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
