No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
