she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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