maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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