I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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