Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
