so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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