Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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