those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
