Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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