So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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