and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
