One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
