Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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