I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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