Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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