Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
