But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
