A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
