what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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