ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you had me at cake vodka
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My liver just had a heart attack.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
