last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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