Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
