I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
