Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize