I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
did i just pee glitter
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
