And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
