Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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