420 ftw
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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