This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
