I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
