If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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