I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
