I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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