you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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