I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize