Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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