i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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